A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM

 Act III Scene I
 
 The wood. TITANIA lying asleep.
 
 [Enter QUINCE, SNUG, BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, and
 STARVELING]
 
 BOTTOM   Are we all met?
 
 QUINCE   Pat, pat; and here's a marvellous convenient place
 for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our
 stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring-house; and we
 will do it in action as we will do it before the duke.
 
 BOTTOM   Peter Quince,--
 
 QUINCE   What sayest thou, bully Bottom?
 
 BOTTOM    There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and
 Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must
 draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies
 cannot abide. How answer you that?
 
 SNOUT   By'r lakin, a parlous fear.
 
 STARVELING    I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.
 
 BOTTOM    Not a whit: I have a device to make all well.
 Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to
 say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that
 Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, for the more
 better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not
 Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver: this will put them
 out of fear.
 
 QUINCE    Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be
 written in eight and six.
 
 BOTTOM    No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and eight.
 
 SNOUT    Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
 
 STARVELING    I fear it, I promise you.
 
 BOTTOM    Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves: to
 bring in--God shield us!--a lion among ladies, is a
 most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful
 wild-fowl than your lion living; and we ought to
 look to 't.
 
 SNOUT    Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion.
 
 BOTTOM    Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must
 be seen through the lion's neck: and he himself
 must speak through, saying thus, or to the same
 defect,--'Ladies,'--or 'Fair-ladies--I would wish
 You,'--or 'I would request you,'--or 'I would
 entreat you,--not to fear, not to tremble: my life
 for yours. If you think I come hither as a lion, it
 were pity of my life: no I am no such thing; I am a
 man as other men are;' and there indeed let him name
 his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.
 
 QUINCE    Well it shall be so. But there is two hard things;
 that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber; for,
 you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.
 
 SNOUT    Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?
 
 BOTTOM    A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find
 out moonshine, find out moonshine.
 
 QUINCE    Yes, it doth shine that night.
 
 BOTTOM    Why, then may you leave a casement of the great
 chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon
 may shine in at the casement.
 
 QUINCE   Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns
 and a lanthorn, and say he comes to disfigure, or to
 present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is
 another thing: we must have a wall in the great
 chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby says the story, did
 talk through the chink of a wall.
 
 SNOUT    You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?
 
 BOTTOM    Some man or other must present Wall: and let him
 have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast
 about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his
 fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus
 and Thisby whisper.
 
 QUINCE    If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down,
 every mother's son, and rehearse your parts.
 Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your
 speech, enter into that brake: and so every one
 according to his cue.
 
 [Enter PUCK behind]
 
 PUCK    What hempen home-spuns have we swaggering here,
 So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
 What, a play toward! I'll be an auditor;
 An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause.
 
 QUINCE    Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.
 
 BOTTOM    Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet,--
 
 QUINCE    Odours, odours.
 
 BOTTOM--odours savours sweet:
 So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.
 But hark, a voice! stay thou but here awhile,
 And by and by I will to thee appear.
 
 [Exit]
 
 PUCK    A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here.
 
 [Exit]
 
 FLUTE    Must I speak now?
 
 QUINCE    Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he goes
 but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.
 
 
FLUTE    Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
 Of colour like the red rose on triumphant brier,
 Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew,
 As true as truest horse that yet would never tire,
 I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.
 
 QUINCE    'Ninus' tomb,' man: why, you must not speak that
 yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your
 part at once, cues and all Pyramus enter: your cue
 is past; it is, 'never tire.'
 
 FLUTEO,--As true as truest horse, that yet would
 never tire.
 
 [Re-enter PUCK, and BOTTOM with an ass's head]
 
 BOTTOM    If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.
 
 QUINCE    O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray,
 masters! fly, masters! Help!
 
 [Exeunt QUINCE, SNUG, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING]
 
 PUCK    I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round,
 Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
 Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
 A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
 And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
 Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.
 
 [Exit]
 
 BOTTOM    Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them to
 make me afeard.
 
 [Re-enter SNOUT]
 
 SNOUT    O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on thee?
 
 BOTTOM    What do you see? you see an asshead of your own, do
 you?
 
 [Exit SNOUT]
 
 [Re-enter QUINCE]
 
 QUINCE    Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art
 translated.
 
 [Exit]
 
 BOTTOM    I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;
 to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir
 from this place, do what they can: I will walk up
 and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear
 I am not afraid.
 
 [Sings]
 
 The ousel cock so black of hue,
 With orange-tawny bill,
 The throstle with his note so true,
 The wren with little quill,--
 
 TITANIA[Awaking]  What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?
 
 BOTTOM[Sings]
 
 The finch, the sparrow and the lark,
 The plain-song cuckoo gray,
 Whose note full many a man doth mark,
 And dares not answer nay;--
 for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish
 a bird? who would give a bird the lie, though he cry
 'cuckoo' never so?
 
 TITANIA    I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
 Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note;
 So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
 And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me
 On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
 
 BOTTOM    Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason
 for that: and yet, to say the truth, reason and
 love keep little company together now-a-days; the
 more the pity that some honest neighbours will not
 make them friends. Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.
 
 TITANIA   Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.
 
 BOTTOM    Not so, neither: but if I had wit enough to get out
 of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn.
 
 TITANIA    Out of this wood do not desire to go:
 Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
 I am a spirit of no common rate;
 The summer still doth tend upon my state;
 And I do love thee: therefore, go with me;
 I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,
 And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
 And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep;
 And I will purge thy mortal grossness so
 That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
 Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!
 
 [Enter PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED]
 
 PEASEBLOSSOM    Ready.
 
 COBWEB     And I.
 
 MOTH          And I.
 
 MUSTARDSEED                  And I.
 
 ALLWhere shall we go?
 
 TITANIA    Be kind and courteous to this gentleman;
 Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes;
 Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,
 With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;
 The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees,
 And for night-tapers crop their waxen thighs
 And light them at the fiery glow-worm's eyes,
 To have my love to bed and to arise;
 And pluck the wings from Painted butterflies
 To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes:
 Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.
 
 PEASEBLOSSOM   Hail, mortal!
 
 COBWEB   Hail!
 
 MOTH    Hail!
 
 MUSTARDSEED   Hail!
 
 BOTTOM   I cry your worship's mercy, heartily: I beseech your
 worship's name.
 
 COBWEB   Cobweb.
 
 BOTTOM   I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master
 Cobweb: if I cut my finger, I shall make bold with
 you. Your name, honest gentleman?
 
 PEASEBLOSSOM    Peaseblossom.
 
 BOTTOM   I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your
 mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good
 Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more
 acquaintance too. Your name, I beseech you, sir?
 
 MUSTARDSEED   Mustardseed.
 
 BOTTOM    Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well:
 that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath
 devoured many a gentleman of your house: I promise
 you your kindred had made my eyes water ere now. I
 desire your more acquaintance, good Master
 Mustardseed.
 
 TITANIA   Come, wait upon him; lead him to my bower.
 The moon methinks looks with a watery eye;
 And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
 Lamenting some enforced chastity.
 Tie up my love's tongue bring him silently.
 
 [Exeunt]